


The Naked Man

by AceOnIce



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is less repressed, Alec tries "The Naked Man", Anniversary, Canon Compliant, Fade to black sex, First Date, First Kiss, First Time, Implied Sexual Content, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, Lots of nudity, M/M, Naked Cuddling, The Naked Man, and Magnus does "The Naked Man" if you get what I'm saying, and then Magnus tries "The Naked Man" and Alec does The Naked Man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: When Alec realizes he won't get a second date with Magnus he tries something he saw on TV. It works and, six months later, Magnus returns the favor.Based on the How I Met Your Mother 4x09 "The Naked Man".
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 12
Kudos: 157





	1. Alec

**Author's Note:**

> It's not actually that smutty, but it's the smuttiest thing I've ever written. Alec is naked for 90% of the story. Enjoy.
> 
> ((Also, I have exactly one follower on this site that I know IRL so if you're reading this don't judge me lol))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus invites Alec up for drinks after their first date. Alec misunderstands, but it turns out for the best.

Magnus is sweet, charming, and unbelievably beautiful. Alec knows the guy is out of his league, but when Magnus invites him up to his apartment, Alec sees the option for what it is. A one night stand. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but it's better than nothing. The chance to sleep with a guy like Magnus Bane isn't something Alec ever thought he'd get so he'll take it.

Magnus mixes them drinks and Alec tries to hold back his grimace. He's unsuccessful if Magnus' little laugh is anything to go by. Alec offers him a small, apologetic smile and takes another sip, it goes down easier.

"So, Alexander--" Before Magnus can finish his sentence his phone is ringing. He glances down at it, the case as sparkly as his fingernails. "I'm so sorry, I have to take this. Give me two minutes?"

"Yeah, of course."

It's the perfect opportunity.

The moment Magnus leaves the apartment, stepping outside to take the call, Alec gulps down his drink for courage. The he sets the empty glass on the closest surface and begins stripping. He debates leaving his boxers on, but that's not how The Naked Man works. So he adds them to his carefully folded pile of clothes and waits.

The air in the loft is slightly colder than would be comfortable, but Alec knows this is his only shot. He's not charming- he trips over his words more often than not. He's not gorgeous like Magnus. Hell, he's not even handsome like Jace. He won't get a second date, but if he's lucky he'll get laid. It's supposedly successful two out of three times. Alec hopes he's lucky enough.

When Magnus steps back inside, his phone falls from his hand and hits the carpet with a thud. He quickly closes the door behind him. Alec notes, with a bit of pride, the way Magnus looks him over with hungry eyes.

Then those eyes settle on his face. "Alexander... you're naked."

Alec clears his throat, "I am."

"May I ask why you're suddenly naked in the middle of my loft? Not that I'm complaining, but it is unexpected."

There's far too much talking going on, but Alec has made his move. His only move. He can't do anything but continue the conversation.

"I saw it on a TV show?" Alec suddenly feels embarrassed. Obviously he'd made a huge mistake. Magnus had probably only invited him up to be nice. He leans to pick up his clothes, but a hand falls on his wrist. The cold medal of several rings presses into his skin and he barely holds back a shiver. Magnus is standing only a foot away now.

"How I Met Your Mother, isn't it? I thought that move was only for one night stands. I was rather hoping for a second date."

Alec is flustered, feeling heat rise in his face. "I- uh, that's. Sorry, yeah, I would like that. I just thought... Why would you want that?"

Magnus raises his eyebrows, eye shadow shimmering in the light. He seems to be making an intentional effort to keep his eyes on Alec's face. "Why wouldn't I want a second date with an attractive, kind, funny man?"

"I'm not..."

Magnus uses his free hand to press two fingers to Alec's lips to say, with utter seriousness. "You are."

Alec looks down towards the floor but is promptly reminded of his nakedness and returns his gaze to Magnus' face. "You want to go out again, with me? And this," he gestures towards himself, "didn't ruin it?"

Magnus lets go of his wrist and steps back, but he runs his gaze over Alec's body in a clearly appreciative way, taking his time. "Darling, I don't believe this could ruin anything. Except me perhaps."

Alec smiles, taking a step closer to Magnus to close the distance between them. "Not a one night stand then. Does that mean I need to get dressed?"

"It doesn't have to. After all, you already went through all the effort of getting undressed." Magnus trails his fingers over Alec's bicep, up his shoulder, a light, exploring touch that leaves goosebumps behind. He moves his hand down to Alec's chest and and presses his palm against it. When he lifts his head Alec catches on, for once, and lowers his head to capture Magnus' lips with his own. He finally allows himself to grasp Magnus' hips, pulling him closer.

The soft scratch of fabric against his skin reminds Alec that he is very much naked and Magnus is very much not.

Luckily, Magnus seems to realize the same thing as he pulls back. "This feels a little uneven, let me just..." He makes quick work of his jacket and button-down shirt which actually gleams under the lights. The socks and pants follow quickly after, leaving Magnus as naked as Alec. Alec only gets a moment to appreciate it before Magnus is bounding forward, crashing into Alec as he kisses him again.

"Bedroom," Magnus mumbles against Alec's lips, making no effort to move, letting his hands explore the other man.

Alec hums and kisses him harder until they both decide making it to the bedroom is too much work.

***

Coming down from the endorphin rush, Alec adjusts his arm over Magnus' shoulder, holding the other man slightly closer on the couch that is clearly too small for two adult men. Magnus is lying mostly on top of Alec.

"That... was good," Alec says, struggling to find the words for it.

Magnus smiles coyly back at him. "It was. I have to ask, Alexander, how many times have you tried this particular tactic? "The Naked Man" is it?"

Alec presses his free hand over his face. Even though it had superb results, he's still a little embarrassed. "I hadn't. My brother told me about it- and the show. They both swear a two out of three success rate."

"Interesting," Magnus muses, running a hand through Alec's chest hair. "I'll keep that in mind for our second date. I have a feeling it would go over well."

Alec can't help smiling back at him. "Yeah, I think it would."


	2. Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus never got the chance to try The Naked Man on his second date with Alec so he makes up for it on their six month anniversary.

Alec let himself in to Magnus' loft with very little hesitation for once. His boyfriend had given him a key after three months of dating, but Alec still felt weird entering Magnus' home without him. Now, after six months of dating, Alec was starting to adjust.

Stepping inside, Alec froze when he realized Magnus was indeed home. Red candles adorned every surface, including along the edges of the floor, making up for the dimmed down lights in the apartment. Soft music floated through the air with the scent of cinnamon- perhaps cinnamon candles? Alec didn't have the brain power to figure it out because his attention was captured by the man lounging on the arm of the sofa. Magnus had pressed his side along the back of the couch, legs crossed in front of him, swirling a drink in his hand, looking relaxed despite his state of undress.

The only thing Magnus was wearing was a pair of bright red heels, matching lipstick, and eyeliner that brought out the gold in his eyes. Alec had forgotten how to move or think or do anything but stare in shock and awe.

"I appreciate the reaction Darling, but please close the door before I get flies."

Alec shut the door behind him, wrapping his hand tighter around the keys in his fist, the cold sharp edges brining him back to himself. Though, he was still mostly distracted by the beautiful naked man in front of him. "You're doing The Naked Man."

"I never got the chance to try it. What do you think?" Magnus stood, turning in a slow deliberate circle, putting himself on full display. He seemed to remain confident in any situation.

"You look amazing. You always look amazing." Alec set down his keys and crossed the room at a dizzying speed so he could press his lips to Magnus'. He tasted like a raspberry cocktail.

With the heels, Magnus was the same height as Alec- an odd adjustment that Alec didn't completely hate. It also meant that when he finally pulled away to breathe, Alec was able to meet Magnus' eyes, devious and happy and breathtaking. "Are those for me?"

Alec had forgotten the bouquet of roses he'd picked up on his way home. He handed them to Magnus with a nod. "I got you something else too, actually."

Magnus was smiling at the flowers. "Oh?"

"It's not as good as this," Alec warned, gesturing to the candlelight and then to Magnus in particular.

"I'm sure I'll love it."

Alec hated stepping away from Magnus, but he had to create enough space to dig into his jacket pocket and pull out the box. It didn't have any wrapping or a bow, just Magnus' named scrawled across the top.

Magnus magicked away his drink and the roses. Alec was happy to see them reappear in a vase on the nearby table. Magnus took the box and opened it, smiling softly when he saw what was inside. A necklace, a dainty golden chain that Alec had worried Magnus might find too boring. "It's beautiful," Magnus breathed, tracing the chain with his free hand.

"It made me think of you," Alec admitted.

Magnus took the necklace out of the box and held it to his neck, "Fasten it for me?"

Alec moved silently behind him, taking the ends of the chain and linking it together, unable to resist placing a kiss on the back of Magnus' neck that made him lean backwards, into Alec. Alec moved his hands to Magnus' bare hips and began placing kisses down his boyfriend's back, soft and gentle.

"I got you something else, a real gift," Magnus said, placing one of his hands over Alec's, lacing their fingers together.

"Oh?" Alec asked, distractedly. He ran his free hand over Magnus stomach, pressing him closer, nibbling at his ear.

"Yes, but it can wait." Magnus turned so they were face to face, dragging Alec in for a real kiss. Alec responded eagerly, distantly wondering how he'd gotten so lucky as to have this.

***

A while later, Alec lay under Magnus' golden sheets, his boyfriend laying mostly on top of him. He marveled at the fact that they'd actually made it to the bed with Magnus looking the way he had. Now, though, he looked much softer. His dark hair fell over his forehead, makeup magically cleaned up, leaving his face bare. Alec was sure it took Magnus more confidence to be seen like this than naked in heels, makeup applied like armor. The fact that he got to see it made Alec's head spin.

"I can feel you staring at me," Magnus mumbled, opening his eyes. He hadn't bothered to glamour his eyes, another sign of his trust.

Alec smiled softly back at him. "How could I not?" He paused. "I love you."

"As I love you." Magnus stretched to kiss Alec as softly as possible.

"Do I get to see what else you got me?" Magnus smiled, but Alec could see the worry behind it and it made him nervous. "You don't have to, if you've changed your mind. This was more than enough. This was perfect."

"It's alright, Alexander, I want to give this to you." Magnus made an elegant, dramatic twist of his wrist, blue magic briefly fluttering around it. When he opened his palm, a small golden key lay in his palm a key that Alec recognized right away.

He picked it up to study it, wondering if he'd been wrong, but no. He knew this key. "You're... giving me the key to your apartment... which you already gave me three months ago?"

Magnus laughed softly. "I understand it's still early in our relationship, but you mentioned living together and I want that. There's no sight I'd rather wake up to than your face. Of course, if you're not ready I would completely understand and you can keep the key to--"

"Magnus," Alec interrupted before Magnus could bury himself beneath his words of self doubt. "Of course I want to live with you."

"Good." Magnus' smile was as soft as his tone. Then he pressed a finger to Alec's nose. "I still can't believe you tried to sleep with me by getting naked in my apartment on our first date."

Alec's face heated up and he smashed it into the pillow, managing to say, "I have no regrets."

"Neither do I. After all, look where it got us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I just really wanted to write Magnus trying "The Naked Man" because we all know he'd be overly dramatic about it. Then it turned into more fluff than I anticipated.


End file.
